why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
