I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
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hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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