Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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