I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
