Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
