i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
