In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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