I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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