at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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