They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
