Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
