I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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