She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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