i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
