8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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