you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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