our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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