I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
