So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize