Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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