last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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