At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
