The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
