oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize