My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
