I must be too annoying 4 u.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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