okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
