Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
