how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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