i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
