i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
