If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
