I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
