also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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