this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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