i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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