his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm at about main and main street
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
And then he peed in my hair
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