just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
