Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
