So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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