Me too!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
