The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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