It's Friday. Sex?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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