apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
