some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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