so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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