You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
