Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
