I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
