if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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