Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
