The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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