The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize