his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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