My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My ass is underappreciated
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
