That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I seem to have left my pride at pride
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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