I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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