I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
