My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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