I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
