I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
