at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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